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I have been watching episodes of True Life for a couple hours now. Each one has been about addiction: meth, alcohol, etc. Seeing all of this and reflecting upon it in the lives of those around me as well as mine has really revealed a lot to me.
Addiction is like a disease that progresses deep under the surface until it continues to overthrow our lives and truly destroys who we are. I have seen how it affects the lives of those around me as well as myself. Watching this television show has really shown me the depravity of human kind. People that know they need to quit smoking or drinking but cannot because this beast rules their lives. It is such a sad, pathetic thing to watch as perfectly capable humans throw their lives away for a few hours, or in some cases only a few minutes, of pleasure and numbness. Images of girls and young men stumbling down the sidewalk or up a flight of stairs as their less drunk or sober friends attempt to help them. Junkies weeping as they find another vein to inject their precious poisons. My heart breaks watching these pictures.
These are not the only addictions I have seen loved ones battle. These outward addictions may be physically harder to overcome because of the effects the chemicals have on the body, but there are other addictions to other things (greed, lust, sex, etc.) that destroy us emotionally, and ultimately, physically. These are the addictions that no one else can see. These are the addictions that we must battle from the inside, with no other help but G-d's grace and power. This is where I have been pondering.
Are we really blind to the pain we are bringing upon ourselves? Are we blind to the pain that we cause each other, our friends, our families? The sleepless nights moms and dads have to experience because they don't know where their daughter is at 3 A.M. or whether or not she will come home at all. Concerned friends seeing the signs of complete addiction, but their friend spits in the faces of her helpers. Moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends, and others weeping over coffins of teenagers or 20 or 30-somethings that would be alive had it not been for those drugs, that last drink, or if overcoming wasn't so damn hard. Girlfriends and wives wondering if their men are protecting themselves or putting themselves in compromising situations with their old enemies.
Why can't we see how our lives are destroyed by our own desires? These substance addictions and inner struggles are destroying our lives; they obliterate who we truly are. My heart aches and cries out for relief. I, like the Apostle Paul, scream, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me" (Rom. 7: 15, 17).
These addictions just prove how much we do not love G-d, the Name above all names, the Almighty. I long to please Him, to obey Him in everything, to wash his feet, to care for his people. My heart aches as I see others and myself losing ourselves in our own desires, in our own battles. Why can we not love G-d? Why do we seek so many temporal things that will just burn? Why can we not seek the Name, the mysterious G-d? Why can we not love as he loved, walk as he walked? We look to ourselves for comfort, for direction, for a hand at running this race we call "LIFE"... but what we must realize is that our lives are not our own. We do not deserve one breath. He paid it all. He gave up the life and the heart that loved the Father so much that every minute of his life was pleasing to G-d and obedience. We have wasted the gift we have been given. What can we do now?
We can stop and fight. We can turn our lives around and run the race with all of our strength. We can resist and overcome. Not all of these stories I have seen and heard end in death and destruction. G-d works in the lives of these people, giving them new birth, new chances. They come out of the darkness and into the All-powerful invincible light. They die like a Phoenix and are re-birthed from the ashes, their own destruction. I am one of those people. G-d has moved powerfully in my life. He has strengthened me and pushed me onward to fight, to run the race, to win. He will do the same for you, if you let Him.
This is the life we dance. Walking with G-d in love...
Father, I cannot wait to see you face to face... to hold your hand... to feel the warmth of your love wash over me... to see me as I truly am and still love me. Thank you Jesus for giving all that you are so that I can be all that I am today. Continue to shape me, to change me like clay in your hands. Transform me. Break me apart and rebuild me. I want to be the man you originally planned for me to be... let me be that man.
Addiction is like a disease that progresses deep under the surface until it continues to overthrow our lives and truly destroys who we are. I have seen how it affects the lives of those around me as well as myself. Watching this television show has really shown me the depravity of human kind. People that know they need to quit smoking or drinking but cannot because this beast rules their lives. It is such a sad, pathetic thing to watch as perfectly capable humans throw their lives away for a few hours, or in some cases only a few minutes, of pleasure and numbness. Images of girls and young men stumbling down the sidewalk or up a flight of stairs as their less drunk or sober friends attempt to help them. Junkies weeping as they find another vein to inject their precious poisons. My heart breaks watching these pictures.
These are not the only addictions I have seen loved ones battle. These outward addictions may be physically harder to overcome because of the effects the chemicals have on the body, but there are other addictions to other things (greed, lust, sex, etc.) that destroy us emotionally, and ultimately, physically. These are the addictions that no one else can see. These are the addictions that we must battle from the inside, with no other help but G-d's grace and power. This is where I have been pondering.
Are we really blind to the pain we are bringing upon ourselves? Are we blind to the pain that we cause each other, our friends, our families? The sleepless nights moms and dads have to experience because they don't know where their daughter is at 3 A.M. or whether or not she will come home at all. Concerned friends seeing the signs of complete addiction, but their friend spits in the faces of her helpers. Moms, dads, sisters, brothers, friends, and others weeping over coffins of teenagers or 20 or 30-somethings that would be alive had it not been for those drugs, that last drink, or if overcoming wasn't so damn hard. Girlfriends and wives wondering if their men are protecting themselves or putting themselves in compromising situations with their old enemies.
Why can't we see how our lives are destroyed by our own desires? These substance addictions and inner struggles are destroying our lives; they obliterate who we truly are. My heart aches and cries out for relief. I, like the Apostle Paul, scream, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me" (Rom. 7: 15, 17).
These addictions just prove how much we do not love G-d, the Name above all names, the Almighty. I long to please Him, to obey Him in everything, to wash his feet, to care for his people. My heart aches as I see others and myself losing ourselves in our own desires, in our own battles. Why can we not love G-d? Why do we seek so many temporal things that will just burn? Why can we not seek the Name, the mysterious G-d? Why can we not love as he loved, walk as he walked? We look to ourselves for comfort, for direction, for a hand at running this race we call "LIFE"... but what we must realize is that our lives are not our own. We do not deserve one breath. He paid it all. He gave up the life and the heart that loved the Father so much that every minute of his life was pleasing to G-d and obedience. We have wasted the gift we have been given. What can we do now?
We can stop and fight. We can turn our lives around and run the race with all of our strength. We can resist and overcome. Not all of these stories I have seen and heard end in death and destruction. G-d works in the lives of these people, giving them new birth, new chances. They come out of the darkness and into the All-powerful invincible light. They die like a Phoenix and are re-birthed from the ashes, their own destruction. I am one of those people. G-d has moved powerfully in my life. He has strengthened me and pushed me onward to fight, to run the race, to win. He will do the same for you, if you let Him.
This is the life we dance. Walking with G-d in love...
Father, I cannot wait to see you face to face... to hold your hand... to feel the warmth of your love wash over me... to see me as I truly am and still love me. Thank you Jesus for giving all that you are so that I can be all that I am today. Continue to shape me, to change me like clay in your hands. Transform me. Break me apart and rebuild me. I want to be the man you originally planned for me to be... let me be that man.
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